In my last post, we explored the subtle, yet tremendously important difference, between saying, “I apologize,” and “I’m sorry.” I would encourage you to read it here, but if you are kind of lazy, the main takeaways are these:
- When you apologize, you’re offering vulnerability in exchange for forgiveness, and
- You can apologize without being actually sorry (that is, you can apologize without actually being emotionally changed), and
- The fact that the recipient knows all of this at a visceral level becomes a real problem if your goal is to deliver a successful apology (e.g. one that lands some real forgiveness).