If At First You Don’t Succeed, Join The Alt-Right.

White supremacists believe that white people are culturally and genetically superior to all other races.

For such a superior bunch, they seem to have ZERO cognitive dissonance in blaming others for their struggles.

Think about it:  If Usain Bolt was running against some painfully slow dude, e.g., the author of this article, it wouldn’t matter what “obstacles” I put in his way. I could give myself a 50-meter head start on the 100-meter dash, and he’d still beat me. I could put hurdles throughout, and he’d still whip me. He could have actual swine flu and outrun my porcine frame.

That’s because Usain Bolt is literally genetically superior to me in “potential for running prowess.” He’s also genetically superior to me in ability to grow dreadlocks and having a cool Jamaican accent. Miles ahead of me, not even a contest.

It isn’t a racial or ethnic or national thing; it’s a Usain Bolt thing. He’s a freak of nature. So am I, just in other, pudgier, slower, less-gold-medal-winning ways. Look, I saw John Belushi’s “Little Chocolate Donuts” ad on SNL when I was a kid, and I thought it was real and took it literally for 40 years. How the hell was I supposed to know?

When someone is literally and vastly genetically superior to someone else, there’s not much anyone can do to even things up. The genetically superior person is going to win a lot more often than not.

However, when your “genetic superiority” is merely self-reported with zero evidence to support the assertion, you’re left in a quandary each time things don’t go your way: either everyone else is rigging the game against you, or you’re completely full of shit.

Stuck working at a dead-end job and can’t seem to get a promotion? Can’t be your own fault, you’re a member of the master race.   Must be the company’s diversity policy.

Can’t get into a good school? It can’t be that you’re at best a slightly above-average student competing against a pool of geniuses. No, that can’t be it. It must be affirmative action, giving those crafty minorities a leg up.

[bctt tweet=”Either everyone else is rigging the game against you, or you’re completely full of shit.” username=”trifectablog”]

Starting a small business and having trouble getting a loan? Sure would be easier if you were starting a minority-owned business, those minorities get all of the good programs.

Or…it could be that you’re not taking responsibility for your own shortcomings.

I know plenty of people who have achieved success irrespective of obstacles. There are—objectively—executives and high-ranking officials at every company in America. Most are white. Most are male. Them’s facts, Buford. There is a growing number of ethnic minority and female executives, but it’s still a small fraction of the entire pie.

Pop quiz. Get out your #2 pencils. I am not sure why #1 or #3 pencils won’t work, but they won’t. Don’t screw this up over graphite hardness questions, okay?

1. If people are indeed getting promoted in this world, but YOU aren’t getting to the level you want in your company, which is more likely?

(a) You’re not as good as you think you are, or perhaps you’re in the wrong company for your special snowflake skill set, or

(b) The company is stacking the deck against you because you’re a member of majority race of this country.

When you hear hoofbeats in the hallway, go look for horses. Not zebras. The answer is A, dipshit.

2. If people are getting into the school of your dreams, but YOU didn’t get in, which is more likely?

(a) In an applicant pool of thousands of people, and in our stated desire to create an incoming freshman class that is diverse in every possible way, your application wasn’t chosen based on the totality of your qualifications vs. those of other people in the pool, or

(b) The college’s affirmative action program gave Black applicants a leg up, and a less qualified Black person took your spot.

Again, the answer is A for Abercrombie. There are hundreds of great colleges out there, and each has a right to look at whatever they choose. The law states they cannot only consider race, but they can consider it as part of the process.

Don’t like it? Sorry, cupcake. Good thing you’re white and it won’t affect you that much in your life. Quit making excuses for yourself – I know plenty of successful people who never even went to college, and plenty more who went to “lesser” schools, and they have done just fine. Hell, I’m one of them – proud graduate of the University of Houston, not exactly Harvard. Make shit happen, Braden, or Carter, or whatever your name is.

But instead of taking personal responsibility for their shortcomings, members of the alt-right movement insist that their failings are the fault of someone else. The government. The Jews. Blacks. Mexicans. Liberal coastal elites. Anyone but themselves.

Hmm. Riiight.

Do you know who wasn’t at Charlottesville with a (eye roll) God damn tiki torch they redeemed a 20% off coupon for down at Bed Bath & Beyond?

Successful people.

The rally was absolutely devoid of people who’ve taken responsibility for their lives. Oh, there were a few popular, successful YouTube personalities and newsletter publishers there: you know, people who’ve made a buck by sending out pandering bullshit to the predictable sheeple who blame everyone else for their problems.

[bctt tweet=”Do you know who wasn’t at Charlottesville with a (eye roll) God damn tiki torch they redeemed a 20% off coupon for down at Bed Bath & Beyond? Successful people.” username=”trifectablog”]

But other than that, no one who has overcome obstacles to arrive at success through hard work and sacrifice bothered to show up.

Instead, a bunch of keyboard warriors with badly misplaced anger and vitamin D deficiencies showed up. They were flanked by unemployed factory workers who “have a black friend,” and long-haul truckers who “have covered every inch of this country and can tell you what the hell is wrong with America,” assuming when you say “America,” you mean “truck stops along I-80.” *pees into a bottle to make better time on account of that lot lizard who he started to fall for before she done broke his got-dam heart back in Toledo.

No one in the alt-right movement is going to read this post and have an epiphany, and that’s because professional blamers like these clowns discount evidence that runs counter their own opinions.  Also, it’s like 1,100 words, and there’s only one picture in it, so there’s that.

So it’s up to us, readers. We have to change the world’s view of the alt-right from “angry, dangerous, racist white people,” to what it really is:

A bunch of whiners who are too lazy and too stupid to succeed, so they blame their failures on everyone else.

Pretty funny that they’re all members of the “party of personal responsibility,” isn’t it? (second eye roll in one article.)

Want to read more of my stuff? Try this one: Men, We Have To Do Better. Or this one: His Scale And Mirrors Are Rigged, Too. Or how about California Is Hella Stoked It’s Not Mississippi.

And as always, if you like what you read on my page, let me know by following my facebook or twitter pages, or by subscribing to my email list! Or go buy a t-shirt and help support my mission to not do actual work!

11 thoughts on “If At First You Don’t Succeed, Join The Alt-Right.

  1. Wow, so harsh! I thought the same though, the alt-right is made up of all the men who have had to move over and share the food chain with sisters and brothers. Their Mommas didn’t raise them to play second fiddle to anyone, even their cousin on the porch with the banjo.

  2. The entire time I read this, I was thinking two things.

    A. There are genetic variations among races sometimes. Some are commonalities in members of the same race. Some African Americans need modified hypertension therapies. Native Americans are a higher risk for diabetes. You should check out innate resistances, IQ differences, and a plethora of other weird medical differences.

    B. If blaming other people for shortcomings is so bad…why does everyone always blame white people? I’ve been blamed plenty of times, accused of being a homophobic racist bigot, a nazi, and had teachers publicly advocate for peers physically abusing me. I was just wondering…how would minority groups respond if this piece was directed at them? A lot of the issues you addressed, like systemic oppression, are issues that many minorities feel strongly about.

    I agree that it is nonsensical for white people to think they are genetically superior. Genetics don’t really work that way. White people could say they have traits that are favorable in certain conditions, but any race could say that. Honestly, as I’ve written recently, East Asians are probably the best “evolved” currently. Higher on average IQ than white people, out earn us, and out populate us. Although, it is so easy for conditions to change and some new environmental variable to favor another race, or another species entirely.

    I think our best chances of success are just working together as humans to achieve the most technologically advanced, and data-driven morality that we can.

    • yeah hi “Gentlemen’s Foundry…” Um really? After reading this, You wondered why does everyone blame white people? If You have been blamed for bigotry and homophobia and racism and sexism it’s because you are those things.
      Your dumb stats about Asians are also shallow and thoughtless.

  3. Hit it out the park again, man! I love your voice; it’s kinda like if Jenny Lawson and Jim Wright had a love child who (duh) loved to read and write.
    I don’t know what to DO to be a good ally to POC in this guano whacknut, bad acid trip, utterly fucking maddening time in history, i.e. 11/9/17 til now. I went to a peace rally on Sunday but it didn’t feel like I was DOING anything to (sorry, corny cliche coming) be the change I want to see.
    P.S. Just FYI, I clicked the “Press This” button to share your post on my blog and I got a weird error message like I was trying to post as a User on your blog. (?!) I’ll troubleshoot on my end but just wanted to let you know because some people aren’t patient enough to do that and you lose a trackback due to their laziness. Also, I can’t use the Reblog button because my only option is to reblog to my “placeholder” WordPress dot com blog that I only have so I can use Jetpack to join my WordPress dot org blogs together and maintain a WordPress dot com profile. I’m on my iPhone, clicked through from my Mail app, it opened in Safari. I may just have to *gasp* get up and go sit at my iMac.
    P.P.S. WordPress is kinda stupid.

    • Thank you, Dory! So kind of you to say. I agree that we’re in a baffling time in our history. I think there was always a lot of racism and hate bubbling under the surface, but it was never given sunlight and water to grow. You don’t double-down on your Nazi views if you don’t know any other Nazis, or if you think all of decent society will kill you if you open your mouth. So, you just secretly dislike people who are different than you and treat them poorly when you’re afforded the opportunity. Fast forward through years of AM radio, the rise of the Internet, the rise of anyone being able to make a youtube channel and gain a following. Arrive at 2008, when a billionaire TV star is saying he thinks the first Black president is illegitimate. Fast forward again to 2016, and that guy is rising through the ranks saying WACKY shit…shit that you’ve also been reading on the Internet and chatting with your Internet friends about. Next thing you know, he’s the President, and you’re at a Klan/Nazi rally in the hometown of Thomas Jefferson. You know, that old yarn. How do we stop it? Short of a baseball bat to the craniums of people wearing Nazi regalia? Yeah, I don’t really know. I wish I could do more than just write about it. But for now, I’m going to keep writing about it and keep calling people out. They shouldn’t get to be a Nazi on the weekends and then go be IT support or insurance salesmen the rest of the week. If they want to be Nazis, I want them to own it and suffer the consequences of it in a modern society.

  4. Love reading your blog. Always. You and Randy Rainbow are keeping me from being committed to a padded room amid this Shit-Storm-of-America, and for that, I’m grateful. Today, I shared your site with a good friend who is another fantastic writer. She’s anxious to check out your world and catch up on all of your great musings. My goal is to rescue all of the intelligent humane people from the onset of current-affairs-induced clinical insanity, so you and Randy Rainbow need to stay on it! (Now, get back to your computer and WRITE! *whip-crack*) Please, and thank you.

    • Wow, thank you so much! I really appreciate you saying such nice things about my work! The writing is therapeutic for me as I witness the Republic crumbling around me. Keeps me sane. That, plus it’s more fun than doing the actual work I’m supposed to be doing at work, and they haven’t figured me out yet. 🙂 The good news: as long as crazy stuff keeps happening, I have lots to write about! (so you’ll have good blog posts to read while you are living in a fallout shelter)

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