I’ll Die On Whatever Hill I So Choose.

I don’t like it when egghead scientists tell me what to do. What do those elite, East Coast liberals know about what it’s like here on the ground in flyover country? Thus, out of self-assured spite, I have filled my entire house with asbestos.

It was a hard task, what with all the unnecessary red tape and regulations making simple, American commerce so damned hard. Ever try to buy asbestos? The government has made it next to impossible, putting hard-working asbestos miners and salesmen out of work, and making filling my home with the so-called “carcinogen” a real pain in the ass. Continue reading

Life On The Surface Of The Sun

I grew up in the country, outside of a small town, which was itself on the outskirts of Houston. We lived in a doublewide trailer, sharing the land with yaupon bushes, pine trees, stray dogs, and mosquitos. Every summer, we’d gather around the ol’ thermostat and yell cuss words at it, in unison. It was the only time Ma would let us young’uns cuss.

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