There Ain’t No Doubt, I Love This Land

I’m an American, and that means a few things.

It means I’m self-made. Everything in my life was crafted from three simple ingredients: my two hands and a lot of hard work. I won’t take any guff from a communist like you who relies on “big government” for sustenance. If you don’t like the way I live, then fuck you and the horse you rode in on.

My horses? Self-fucking-made, chief. I personally tracked down and bred two wild horses to create my own horse. Once my pony was old enough to ride, we galloped into town—which, incidentally, I built while waiting for my horse to grow up—and we gathered raw materials. God’s green earth provided its splendor in the form of wood, iron ore, naturally-occurring copper wires, and shag carpet. Oh, and six day laborers from Guatemala.

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Bad Stuff Is Probably Happening Somewhere

Bad stuff happens everywhere. I don’t mean “bad stuff” like getting in a fender bender. Or even really bad stuff like your Internet crapping out in the middle of streaming your seventh consecutive episode of This Is How To Get Away With A Million Little Scandals With The Stars: Miami.

No, I’m talking about Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse-level bad stuff. Continue reading

6 Lies About Immigrants Trump Hopes You Believe

As a native citizen of this great land, I’m entitled to certain inalienable rights. Everyone’s saying I was endowed with those rights by my Creator. It’s tremendous. Just fantastic, really.

While I have more Native American DNA than most US Senators, I’m only “native” to this land by virtue of the fact that I was born here. There is no doubt as to my citizenship status: I was born at a very young age in Houston, Texas, USA, in 1976, to two native-born American citizens. Continue reading

It’s the least you can do.

You’re running late to meet a friend at the mall. You’ve got the kids in tow. You had to park farther away than ideal, and it’s starting to drizzle.

You see a person slip and fall right in front of you. Do you check to see if they were okay? Help them back up? If they can’t get back up, do you call for help to get them to a hospital?

Okay, good…that person is okay now, thanks to you. And you just set a great example for your kids: helping your fellow human is more important than just about anything else. Continue reading

Trump is patient, Trump is kind…

This might be categorized as another Trump rant, so if you’re not into that sort of thing, read something else. Nothing to see here.

I am going to take exception with some illogical BS.

The long and short of it is this…A lot of Christian people voted for the Donald, and I’m going to call it like I see it: voting for Trump was perhaps the most un-Christian thing you could have done.
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