Blink And You’ll Miss Yaupon Season

If you drive through the coastal plains of Texas, you’ll see a few standard images. Cows behind barbed wire fences. Gas station and barbecue restaurant combos. And around this time of year, you’ll see young suburban families desperately pleading with little Ambreighlynne to LOOK AT THE GOD DAMNED CAMERA as they trespass to get the locally coveted “Toddler Among Bluebonnets” photo.

The state flower of Texas is the bluebonnet. It’s a bright blue wildflower that grows in friendly territory, such as busy highway medians and other people’s land.

Listen here, y’all: do not pick bluebonnets under any circumstances.

Ask any Texan. Or don’t, as “asking” isn’t a prerequisite for getting Texas-specific information from Texans. Posing your cherubic tykes with bluebonnets may be mandatory, but picking bluebonnets is illegal.

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Tammy, George, and Me.

I read an article recently that got me thinking a bit, which is rare for me because I try not to think whenever I can avoid it.

TL;DR for that article: A guy reflects back on failed marriage and thinks that ignoring the things that were important to his wife (namely, the example and other similar ideas) demonstrated the extent to which he valued (or didn’t value) her. He valued proving his point more than he valued her. He realizes post-marriage that it was not fair to think, “I wouldn’t be offended by this, so the fact that she’s offended is petty and invalid, and I shall convince her of this.” Continue reading

A little country wisdom for y’all

Two flies were sitting in a corral on a pile of cow manure. They were going to town, eating their fill, just enjoying life. They saw a pitchfork leaning up against the fence. The two flies decided rather than flying up there, they could just leisurely walk right up the handle to the top to bask in the sun for a while.

When they got to the top, they were just about to stretch out and relax, when they saw the farmer walking straight toward them. Continue reading