I have a weird confession to make.
It’s going to come as a shock, so I hope you’re sitting down. You probably are, as it’s hard to walk and read at the same time.
Okay, here goes: I haven’t seen that movie.
I know, right?! Crazy. You know the one, the one with that one guy? The one where they go places and do stuff? Yeah, never seen it.
And I’m constantly, irrationally embarrassed by this fact.
Continue readingDonald Trump is, hands down, the best example of American Christianity we’ve ever seen in the Oval Office. Now, before you go saying, “but he’s a despicable, womanizing, money-grubbing, chicken-hawk, terrible human being,” get comfortable, and allow me to state my case. Continue reading
According to Tony Perkins, the head of the Family Research Council, Donald Trump gets a mulligan for his indiscretions with adult film star Stormy “My Parents Didn’t Name Me ‘Stormy Daniels’” Daniels.
Fun fact: that might be the first time in history a person’s nickname required both single and double quotation marks. You need to understand, I’m an innovator. That’s why they need to stop calling me Rickey “No One Calls Me ‘Innovator’” Dobbs.
Who’s “they,” you ask? Do the words, “secret society,” mean anything to you?! Get woke, friends. And shook. And other words in the wrong tense for some reason. Continue reading
Trigger warning: if you homeschool your child, you probably won’t like this article, because I’m about to make fun of you and your child. Please skip it, and go read something else. You’ve been warned.
For generations, “school” was the place where you sent your kids to get book learnin’. As a society, we decided back in 1892 or 1761 or something—I don’t know, I didn’t pay attention in history class—that we would benefit from having a literate populace that could count higher than the number of fingers they had. This became especially important during the Industrial Revolution, as people started losing fingers at never-before-seen rates. Continue reading