Think Like A Conservative

Want to think like a conservative? The conservative game plan on many matters is to be counterintuitive and contrarian.

Gun violence? We just need more guns!

Animals going extinct? Hunting and killing them will help with that!

Israel versus Palestine conflict? HARK! We shall move the American Embassy to Jerusalem and hasten the coming apocalypse, as the prophets of yore foretold! *eyes turn red and start glowing for some reason. Continue reading

Does This Swastika Clash With My Yarmulke?

Money and power don’t matter as much to me as they matter to others. They still matter, don’t get me wrong. But I’m pretty unlikely to make a major life decision based primarily on money or power. I am not going to take a job I don’t want to do just because it pays really well or gives me influence.

I am less rash than I was when I was young. When I was a younger man, I would not hesitate to invoke the sacred words of the Most Reverend Doctor Johnny Paycheck, “Take This Job And Shove It.” To be fair, I’ve worked for numerous line bosses who got themselves a brand new flat top haircut who really thought they were cool.1 But as I’ve aged, I’ve realized that silly habits like “eating” and “not being homeless” are worth a little bit of sticking through a bad situation at work. Continue reading

God save the king from himself.

America is not a monarchy.

We’re not just “not a monarchy.”  We were founded in treasonous opposition to a monarchy.  Our philosophical ancestors demanded liberty.  That liberty could come one of two ways: willingly granted by the British Empire, or at the end of a royal executioner’s rope.

For years before that, they pled for more self-governance in the administration of the Colonies.  Repeatedly denied, they took up arms and spilled blood to assert their voice. Continue reading