Coming In At An Unbelievable 239 Pounds…

I’m not a small person.

I mean physically. I am occasionally “small” in that I act like a child.

But my stature is anything but small. At 6’3”, I’m taller than 97.5% of the people in the United States. Interestingly, I’m taller than 99.2% of all people in China. This corroborates my experience at the Chinese market, where people often point up at me and exclaim, “Holy shit, that’s a tall white dude!” I can only assume that’s what they’re saying, though, because I don’t speak Mandarin. Continue reading

3 Uniquely American Ways To Get In Shape.

America, we’re in a full-fledged public health crisis. We skipped straight past partial fledging on this one. One out of every three people in the US suffers from obesity, and another third of us is overweight.

The final third is made up of people who’ve clearly never tried Costco pizza. That stuff is ridiculously tasty, friends. And only $9.99? Unfettered access to that kind of deal is surely worth the membership fee, cutthroat parking situation, unexplained crowd on a Tuesday at 6 pm, and impending gastric bypass you’ll need from a steady diet of Costco pizza. Continue reading