According To The Data, We’re All Idiots

I hacked America’s data, and I found out that we’re a bunch of terrible, idiotic human beings.

Okay, that’s a little over-the-top. It’s probably more accurate to say that many of us are terrible, idiotic human beings, and that incredibly vocal plurality is causing our national boat to careen dangerously starboard. Continue reading

Think Like A Conservative

Want to think like a conservative? The conservative game plan on many matters is to be counterintuitive and contrarian.

Gun violence? We just need more guns!

Animals going extinct? Hunting and killing them will help with that!

Israel versus Palestine conflict? HARK! We shall move the American Embassy to Jerusalem and hasten the coming apocalypse, as the prophets of yore foretold! *eyes turn red and start glowing for some reason. Continue reading

Excuse me, what’s your oligarchy policy here?

If you gain power over a country, what do you do next? Politics aside, there are millions of possible answers to that question, and the answer depends on where your values lie.

If you’re a pandering, spray-tanned game show host who appeals to the lowest base instincts of the uneducated masses, you might choose to focus on the “problem” of Syrian refugees flooding into our country…oh, sorry. I said “politics aside.” My bad. Continue reading

Sunlight is still the best disinfectant.

You know what they say about people who constantly accuse others of lying and cheating? They make accusations because lying and cheating are within their own repertoire, and their worldview imputes those strategies to others.

Most people don’t lie as a matter of course. Most people don’t cheat easily.

Do you know who thinks everyone lies and cheats all the time? Yep, liars and cheaters. Continue reading