Race Against The Machine

I’ve done it. I have invented a machine that gives you the power to change your race.

I know! I am as surprised as you are, given my complete lack of scientific and technical knowledge.

But now, with the mere push of a button, you will no longer remain confined to the skin color, hair texture, or facial features assigned by your DNA. Please mail my Nobel Prize and large cash award at your earliest convenience.

Want to try it out?

Continue reading

We’re Trying To Have A Society Here

The act of “canceling” people is as old as civilization itself.

Sometimes we canceled people via exile. Sometimes it was through removing their heads from their bodies. But the reasoning was always the same:

You did something that badly compromises our community’s shared values, so you gotta go.

Before humans started divvying up the hunting versus the gathering, we already had the basics of a limited social contract. It went something like this:

“What’s up, fellow hominid? Here’s my offer: in honor of the fact that you look vaguely similar to me, I won’t kill you when you turn your back. In consideration thereof, kindly don’t kill me when I’m not looking, either. Sound good? Kthxbye.”

Continue reading

Love and marriage. Oh, and pandering.

Marriage, at its civil root, is a property arrangement.

It always has been.  It’s a state-sanctioned means by which families can grow and preserve wealth.

Marriage concentrates society’s buying power and increases stability.  It decreases our use of resources for protection of our youngest, sickest, and oldest citizens.

When the happy couple wants to call it quits, family law gives predictability to the division of property.  Sure, there are options as to what could happen post-bliss, but the majority of property divisions in divorce are quite similar. Continue reading