Narcissist Flailing Terribly: The Story Of Trump Digital Trading Cards

If you have people in your life who’ll tell you when you’re being an idiot, thank them. And thank God or the Universe or Fate while you’re at it. Not everyone gets so lucky.

Case in point: The former President of the United States of America, Donald Trump.

After hyping a pending MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT for several days, everyone’s favorite naked emperor trotted out some magic. No, not like Magic: The Gathering cards, but you’re surprisingly close!

This magic came in the form of Donald J. Trump Digital Trading Cards.

I. Shit. You. Not.

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Trade Offer: You Get One Deadly Virus, I Get One Rent Freeze

For me, the worst part of COVID was closing my business. For some, including a few people I know, the worst part was an order of magnitude more awful: the death of a loved one. And for others, it was being sentenced to eighteen months of confinement with loved ones they merely wished would die.

The best part of COVID? There were a ton of positive things! Stimmy checks, student loan postponement, the normalization of work-from-home, less traffic and thereby lower emissions, and a boon to the heretofore-lagging sweatpant industry.

I really enjoyed one thing above all of those, namely because I live in a bougie part of an expensive metropolitan area. My favorite part of COVID was rent concessions. In a world where rent always goes up, ours did not for two years.

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