At the end of the day, I watch TV.

I watch more TV than an out-of-work victim of medical negligence whose new shipment of catheters hasn’t arrived. But I could be entitled to financial compensation, so you should probably stay on my good side.

I know that “I watch a shit ton of TV” is something I shouldn’t say. Sort of like, “I drink pickle juice directly from the jar,” or “there’s a callus on my thumb from scrolling through Facebook on my phone so much.” All true, but probably shouldn’t be broadcast to the masses. Continue reading

No Rules For Dating My Non-Existent Teen Daughter.

Let me preface what I’m about to write with a caveat: I don’t have a daughter. I don’t have children at all. At least not human children. I have a four-legged permatoddler (dog) named Lemmy. But you’ll be relieved to know that there are no little Rickeys running around, and for that, you should all take a moment to thank the deity of your choice.

Caveat issued. Now onto the part that will piss some of you off.

Hey dads with daughters, I’d like to bend your ear for a second. Continue reading